I always love this time of year. I cannot get enough of kids dressed as Pilgrims and Indians, sitting down at their little Thanksgiving Feast, bonnets made out of construction paper falling over the girls’ eyes, and Indian vests two-sizes too big on little boys. One of my favorite things to do with the little ones I teach is sit down and ask them what they are thankful for.
It’s not as easy as you think. Some of the kids have got it – “I’m thankful for my mommy and daddy and my home.” Perfect. This kid has been well trained.
Others need a little coaxing. “I’m thankful for my Nerf Gun”.
I smile and then gently say, “It’s ok to be thankful for our toys, but remember God has given us our family and food to eat and warm homes to live in. So tell me again, what are you thankful for?”
“My family and my home and my Nerf Gun.”
Close enough.
I love this process because the kids are so honest. At four years old, they don’t own much. But they know what they do have and that’s what their thankful for. It takes a little bit of training and maturity to realize what they are supposed to say – things like family, food, and health.
Most of the time I have that maturity. I am trained to say I’m thankful for God providing us with so much, for my kids, and my husband. But on my bad days, I’m like a four year old. I want to hold up all my possessions and show everyone what I have. On my really bad days I’m not grateful at all. And on my really, really bad days I want it to be you and not me who has to have a child with diabetes.
My ungrateful heart is something I am not proud of. I have thought that something must be wrong with me to be so callous and cold. I am slowly starting to realize, however, that gratefulness is not something we automatically show up with in life. We have to choose to be grateful. And that is hard to do on some days.
So I’m going to start small. And I’m going to be honest. I know there will be days when my ungrateful heart wins and I get weepy and mad. This is a process, after all.
I will still speak the words, even if my heart is not feeling them. For I believe that just speaking the words give them power.
I will adjust my crooked bonnet made of construction paper, grit my teeth, and utter the words of thanks that are in my ungrateful heart. Because if I search hard enough, they are there.
Thank you God, for the noise of my children.
Thank you God, for the music playing, the dog barking, the drums banging.
Thank you God, for the dances in the living room with just the four of us.
Thank you God, for what diabetes has taught me.
Thank you God, that diabetes is not winning.
Thank you God, for forgiving my ungrateful heart time and time again.
Thank you God.
I hope I’m not alone in my struggle for gratefulness. Please share with me what you are grateful for and how you practice gratefulness (no four year old perfect answers allowed!)
I’m thankful for good health, a nice home and my church.
I’m thankful that I can remember Roscoe and all that we meant to each other. He was so encouraging and gave me confidence in myself. I miss that in my life now.
He was hurting Monday night in the hospital and we didn’t know what was wrong with him. He was just tossing and turning and talking out of his head. I was on a cot in his room and I asked him if he would feel better if I got in the bed with him and he said “yes, I always feel better when you are near me”. We had no way of knowing that was the last conversation we would have. Those words are a wonderful memory for me. So, I’m grateful for the time we had together.
Sometimes, it is hard to remember to be grateful for the good life I have had, because I miss it so much now.
What a wonderful story, Sue! Isn’t it strange how some of our saddest memories are what we are grateful for? Thank you for sharing this.
Bless you, Sue, as you remember. We love you!
I am thankful to know your family. I think you and Scott do an awesome job at parenting. Yes, the diabetes is a challenge but I pray for a cure for this illness and I pray for your strength and faith in God to grow as you deal with the diabetes. God is faithful and I pray that you will get an answer soon.
Thank you, Elizabeth! Keep praying for a cure!
I am grateful that you are able to honestly share your feelings. You do a wonderful job of relating your family struggles with diabetes with issues we all face! Love your sweet family!
Thanks, Aunt Liz!
I am grateful for my children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren and that are all healthy. Although I have lost 3 of my children’s grandparents this year, I am grateful I still have my mom. I am grateful to live in a blemished country, but yet still have the right to worship where and when I please. I am grateful for warm clothes and a warm house as winter approaches and for a cool home when summer comes again. I am grateful for the food on our table. I am grateful I have a husband who thinks of others and works hard. I am so thankful when I fell twice in one day recently that nothing broke and looking back, having to go from the hospital to a nursing home for three weeks wasn’t that bad even if I thought it was terrible at the time. I am grateful for my eyesight, the ability to be creative, and for life. Thank you, Lord, for all of the blessings you give me, an imperfect person.
Beautifully said, Jane!
Sally, you keep finding the words to inform us, encourage us, and motivate us to be honest abour ourselves and our journey. I’m thankful for the role model you are and for your sweet family.